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Letter to my son  

Dear Logan,

This year will mark our 5^th Christmas without you. Not a day goes by that your daddy and I don’t think about you. We feel you, and your spirit, wherever we go. We see your smile in your brother Mason, we see your eyes in your sister Mackenzie. I keep looking for small signs that you’re there, whether it’s looking up at the brightest of stars on a clear winter’s night or noticing, every single day since the beginning of December, your first Christmas ornament, your tiny baby booties, in our over-decorated tree. We know you’re there.

It hasn’t always been easy learning to live without you. A piece of my heart broke the day you left us. That piece can never be replaced, never be glued back together like a chipped vase. It followed you, all the way up to Heaven. I wish I could hold you in my arms and whisper in your ear just how much I love you, like I do with your siblings. One day I’ll have that chance again and I might never let go.

Every Christmas, Christmas without you, we remember just how blessed we truly are. Life is fragile. We are now stronger people, a stronger couple, and stronger parents because of you. We are also not as naïve as we once were. We don’t take anything for granted anymore. We love hard, we kiss and hug often, we say I Love You every single day. We have become who we are, thanks to you. And we are so grateful for that, baby boy.

Every Christmas, Christmas without you, we also remember what’s truly important in our world full of chaos: love, family and hope. Without these three things, your passing would have been less significant. You will always be a part of us, a part of our story, a part of our family. And nothing in the world can ever change that.

So, until we meet again, Logan, I wanted to thank you for teaching us the true meaning of love, happiness and family; it all started with you. Thank you for helping us through the tough times. Thank you for being our son and for choosing us as your parents. Thank you for always watching over us.

I love you to the moon and back, baby boy.

Until we meet again,

Mom xoxo